Saturday, April 10, 2010

Another feather in the unstable life

So here I was, standing in the queue to go to New York. I still cannot believe I was doing this. A part of me was horrified, another part resigned to the situation, still another angry, one part sad etc etc.…. Yes I think I (or any girl) can divide themselves into so many parts (and more) at the same time for the same reason.

Now here’s the story of why exactly I was standing in that line.

Some 8 months back, I took the vows of marriage which I think includes being with the husband till "death do us apart". I am really not sure what other clauses were included in the fine print that the pundit said for over two hours during the ceremony. I was more interested in finding out if every friend/relative who had come liked the food or not. The fire, the fasting plus Sanskrit didn’t help much either. Plus we had a deadline to meet, to finish everything before the hall closes. In short, who cares what the pundit was saying.

Anyways, marriage over, next two months went in shopping…. everyday (as the husband said) for various containers (different sizes, shapes and different purposes).

As happy as I could have been, one fine day, I got this phone call from hubby dear saying he is getting the coveted “onsite opportunity”- a dream come true for all software engineers.

So the next thing I knew hubby dear was following the "Great American Dream" and I was happily living off my sister, you know just like the good old days when I did not have to cook.

But then the “opportunity” turned from 3 months to 1 year. So, that meant I was supposed to join him.

Of course all of this for a better future. I will never understand why we mess up our present to make up a better future... But anyways, after getting lots of "opportunities" from my employer to every other place than New York, I dutifully resigned, stood in the line to get a dependant visa and most importantly sold all my nice dabbas I had bought for my kitchen!!!!

And here I was going towards an uncertain future. All those years of prayers for “Asato ma sadgamaya” just weren’t good enough. Sorry, I do not know enough Sanskrit to create an opposite of this phrase .

I think this was the day when I actually realized why people cry when they get married. It is not because we are leaving our homes or family. It is because it’s a whole new set of responsibilities to be executed for a whole new set of people. Yes, it took 8 months for my dimag ki batti to glow, shine and glare… literally !!

Now, here I was standing in the row for immigration, clutching all those “I- something” papers. I still do not know what all those papers mean. The immigration lady frowned at me. I don’t think they have ever heard of “Atithi Devo Bhava”... but sadly no one knows Sanskrit any more.

“So why are you here”…I mentally counted all my relatives to whom I would like to fire that question the next time they are around….

But it baffles why would any immigration officer ask that question .. The visa approved is dependent. So of course I am here to be with the primary candidate. If I would have any other reason to be here, will I be telling that to them?

So anyways after a lot of fumbling,frowning,smirking etc. etc… I was able to assure the immigration officer that I am here to stay with my husband and only for a year. They decided I looked harmless enough to enter the US of A. So, I FINALLY crossed the coveted border to enter the land of opportunities…and immediately felt a nauseating, suffocating form-changing process. Since at that very moment, I have changed from a human being to an alien …a non-resident alien not to mention a dependent too.

So now that the transformation was complete from a firm present to a very “uncertain near future” yes of course for “ some better future”….my journey began in a world which was completely opposite to the way I was used to. Life did change BIG time in the first year of marriage..But some things never change, I am still searching for nice containers for my kitchen!!


  1. loved it :):):)...and it is so u....!!!!
    and that was a perfect ending to me...
    Not to say that i will always wonder "why people give up their present for some distant future"!!!
    But thats how most us live our whole life..
    Anyways good write up.....and it was fun..

  2. And yet again, misra ji aap chha Gaye!

  3. thank u so so much Jayoti.. I could finally match up to your expectations...
    Prachi ...can we expect something from u now?

  4. :) Nice write up... What were Amit's comments to it ?... So looks like you have taken up blogging seriously .. good good !!

  5. Another Fabulous Write Up and straight from the heart- that’s what we like abt you… Keep It up !

    Well you know every one of us realizes that they give up their present for their aims/needs or for betterment future and miss out on what they have and will not enjoy their present ,but do you think there is any solution to this ....

    This is never ending.. today we search for nice size of containers in kitchen but once we get that , we will be in search of some other thing … and that wht we call human tendency .

    But the most important thing is you have your GEM (hubby) with you and what ever the life was and is… and how uncertain things are, if he is with you and you both are happy ,your nice size of containers doesn’t matter …

  6. @Pramod - Thanks for the best compliment... you are my only follower in the thanks for the encouragement. Amit is the editor for the blogs so this is the edited version :) ... dont know how long will be able to write.

    @Gaurav - Agreed and thanks for the compliment

  7. Well I knew that you speaks a lot and but didn't know that it can come in writeup so well! Excellent...I will be happy to follow your blogs :)

  8. Good one Sri....
    We are waiting for many more like this :)
    Keep up the good work... Cheers!

  9. Good one .. njoyed reading your words ...

    seems deep thoughts from the heart ...

    best wishes

  10. @Avinash and chhays Thanks a lot...
    @Unspoken words - That means a lot to me .. thank u

  11. Welcome to the club..Good that you decided you write something on general topics unlike what Mr.Kumar does which I feel very boring..

    I liked the most.."But some things never change, I am still searching for nice containers for my kitchen!!"....
    It's continuous process through out life..